You’re bad at everything you do and not only that, you’re a bad son, a bad father, a bad husband and you know there are bad things you’ve done, tried to forget but you are arrogant, old and ugly and you can’t say anything about it because hey! it’s not all about you.
If you think you’re good, you’re no good. If you think you’re no good, you’re no good. If you don’t think, you’re no good. If you think, you think you’re no good. You’re no good.
I can’t do all the important things I want to do because I have to do the most important thing I have to do which I can’t do because I’m so worried about all the other important things that I can’t do because I have to do the most important thing that I can’t do and so I do nothing.
It doesn’t matter that there’s no point to anything, because if there’s no point to anything then nothing matters, and it doesn’t matter that nothing matters because if nothing matters then it doesn’t matter that nothing matters.
On the train from Holyhead I looked and thought the world doesn’t need me to describe sheep in the turned turnip fields, sheep on a frozen hillside, doesn’t need to imagine that snow clouds are like smoke from a frozen explosion, has no time or wish to know when the sun began to dance, over the far white mountains it was dancing and licking, like a small dog full of joy, at the face of a returning boy.
August in Hammersmith/You don’t know who you’re with. — Robyn Hitchcock
Ecru muslin cleaves to the bum, Or ever shorter shorts for some. Three aquiline ectomorphs all smile. Sister, brother, other? Meanwhile It’s always time to be young, no Even with brave scooter kids in tow Who know the green cross code. Oh They must know! Okay, they know.
Outside A and E, a nurse in scrubs Says “I’ll take you back into hospital.” Bent double on a half wall, blood On his forehead, nodding, frail, An ill-shod man, won’t hear or agree. Half a mile on, another bent double, Frail, on a low bench, tapping his knee. Some of us are in trouble.
Summer is distracted, letting itself go, Can’t be bothered to put on a show.
Thunder from the buildout of King Street Is not Jehovah’s p.a. The news sheet Today is on capitalism and class war. Apparently the pandemic is…blah blah blah. Outside the Lyric Theatre, ineffectual Leafletters pine for the intellectual. While dad-bellied, a shirtless old get Hugs himself like he’s only just met.
Every morning is a one-armed bandit, Two lemons the first pee is not red, Only nudges away, heart attack, stroke. Some say quit while you’re ahead. Places along the row stand empty now, June lost her mind. Anna followed Peter. A woman I only know to see is always smoking outside.
Grieving for a bee I tried to rescue. I wish I’d never felt love for any human being But it’s animals I love more, more than people. Forever regret the mouse that pleaded from a trap. Oh bee I made a bed for with leaves, forgive me But they can’t and I am in Hell now.
*
The bee is still In his dry leaf bower. The drops of water I left him He never drank. He no longer tries to fly. He has gone to the flowers.
*
I’m sorry if I hurt you by trying to set you free. Rest, your work is done now, still bee.
Photo: Plants in a pot with a tiny dead bee and dry leaves
– Magical Bread – Mortification of the Flesh – Custody of the Eyes – Sackcloth and Ashes – Apparitions and Miracles – Was Lazarus a Zombie? – On Your Knees – Banned Books – Conclaves & White Smoke – Statues, Icons and Candles
– Surplices and Cassocks – Incense, Oil and Holy Water – Fasting and Altar Wine – Organs, Hymns and Bells – Papal Bulls and Celibacy – Carpenters and Virgins – Mother and Baby Stables – Wise Men and Donkeys – Gold, Frankenstein and Mirth
– Hermits, Stylites and Prophets – Processions, Relics and Exposition – Retreats, Novenas and Sodalities – Statues, Silverware and Stained Glass – Illuminated Manuscripts and Leaflets – Missionaries and Black Babies – Monks, Brothers, Priests and Nuns – Bamboo Canes and Leathers
– Catechisms and Rosary Beads – Chasubles and Stoles – Soutanes and Habits – Dog Collars and Hairshirts – Censers and Sanctuary Lights – Missals and Mass Cards – Parish Registers and Weekly Dues – Poor Boxes and Collection Plates – Presbytery, Sacristy and Choir – Headstones
– Dominus Vobiscum et Cum Spiritu Tuo – Scrolls, Gospels & Apocrypha – Recordings Detectible in Rocks? Not Yet. – Who’s Coming and When? – Revelations, Ergot & Mushrooms – Handwritten Diary of Jesus & Yeah You Wish – Faith, Hope & Love – Salvation and Damnation – Ghost or Spirit?
– Married Priests and Mini-Skirted Nuns – Jesuits, Liberation Theology and Blind Faith – Bishops, Arch and Suffragan – Beatification, Canonisation and Devils Advocates – Cathars and the Consolamentum – Kill Them All and God Will Know His Own – Misogyny and “Witches” Burned Alive
– Original Sin, Baptism and Limbo – Joseph and the Immaculate Conception – Fit Kilkenny and the Remoulds – Gethsemene, Golgotha and the Garden Tomb – Veronica and the Turin Shroud – Lourdes, Fatima, Medjugorje and Knock – Daniel O’Donnell, Margo and Big Tom – The Singing Nun and the Singing Priest
– Domenica-nica-nica and Kumbaya – Faithful Brethren and Dearly Departed – Spare Not the Rod and Despoil the Child – Dormitories, Refectories and Confessionals – Pulpits, Pews and Stations of the Cross – Fonts, Aisles, Chapels and Tabernacles – Altar Boys, Handbells and Patens – Mortal Sins
– Holy Days of Obligation & Acts of Contrition – Blood Washing Snow White & the Seven Deadly Sins – Who Killed Liberty Bodice, Scapulars & Miraculous Medals? – Kyrie Eleison and Why Did Latin Get the Works? – Sojourn in Hell, Transfiguration and Ascension – Aramaic, Abba & Here We Go Again
– Fish Supper and Chip Butties for Five Thousand – Save the Best Wine for Last and Friends on the Coast – Hairy Magdalene and Tax Collectors – Herod, Pilate, Caiphas and Peter the Fink – Romani Ite Domum and the Life of Brian – Lilies of the Field, Sheep and the Fatted Calf – Gadarene Swine
– Get Behind Me Satan and St Patrick Before Me – Holly Threesome and the Divine Mysteries – Mother Mary Aikenhead and the White Fathers – Jesus Wept and the Litany of Loreto – Saecula Saeculorum and Amen
If that piqued your interest, you might like to read “Oh One-by-Three”, “Oh Flaking Gilt Money Box” and “Saint Paul said it all” in Day of the Flying Leaves. (Stephen)
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